I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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