Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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