Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
