Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
