Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Randomize
