But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
