I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
