thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
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they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
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He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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