no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
