note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
