weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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