That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Are we still banned from the library?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Randomize
