You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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