I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Randomize