So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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