Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
