no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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