i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
