Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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