AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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