Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize