Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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