Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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