I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize