If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
