is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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