Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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