I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
