so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
