shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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