Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
