whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
