Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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