Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
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I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
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I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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