I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Alive.
So much puke
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
