We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
