Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
