her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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