He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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