i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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