Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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