I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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