So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
