why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
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You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
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How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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