respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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