Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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