I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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