i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
