my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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