I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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