sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
