The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
why is half of my head shaved?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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