So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
