New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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