Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
