check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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