3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
