Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize