I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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