I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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