I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
