it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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