So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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