Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
