Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
