Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
