I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
