Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm jealous of your bromance
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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