Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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