He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize